I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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