I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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