Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
