She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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