I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
