just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
