how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
