You can't motorboat a personality
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
