Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
