you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
