It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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