you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
