How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
