You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize