Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
