I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
