forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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