I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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