Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
