see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
