I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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