Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
