You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
