Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
