I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
