You're completely useless in the revolution.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
