im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
