Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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