Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It was confusing and full of hummus
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize