he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
