Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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