im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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