do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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