the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
