STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
