elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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