Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
