I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
