My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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