Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
