so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
