Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
