Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
