12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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