I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize