Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it glows. i had to have it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
