We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
