Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize