8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
