Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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