Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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