Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
