I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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