my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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