Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
