She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
