I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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