He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
