I am spending my child support on dildos
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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