How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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