butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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