Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
