I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
