guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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