Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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