i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
