He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
