and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
